Self-esteem is essential to our ability to function in a healthy way. Without the foundation of a solid sense of self-worth, we are unable to take the risks and make the decisions necessary to lead a fulfilling, productive life. A low self-esteem corrodes our love lives, careers, family bonds, and, most importantly, our internal sense of well-being. A high self-esteem, on the other hand, brings the high level of confidence, problem-solving abilities, and assertiveness needed to achieve what Maslow called "self-actualization"- a continuous desire to fulfill potentials, to be all that you can be.
People who have positive self-esteem have healthier, stronger relationships with others. A strong sense of self-worth actually creates a type of self-fulfilling prophecy: the more you like yourself, the more you begin to act in likable ways; the more you believe you are able to achieve something, the more likely it is that you will. And the good news is that we can all take steps to improve our self-esteem. After all, there's nothing more important than the relationship you have with yourself!
In my work as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I find that the root of ALL issues has a direct relationship to self esteem. Self esteem is formed by successfully overcoming obstacles and it begins in childhood. Children are born with the need to be loved and provided with safety and sanctuary. They begin to develop a sense of self and their own self worth experientially. The events that happen in their lives, especially those which involve those who are care givers, shape their idea of what they are worth.
Children begin with "small" obstacles like learning to walk, potty training, and learning social cues. A child is learning by perception formed by an awareness of the environment based on feelings and thoughts. Feelings and thoughts based on an event cause a perception to take place (their idea of what is happening and how it makes them feel) which then forms a belief about themselves and their world. There is NO rationalization at this time of life – the logical mind isn’t forming until age 5. So a child forms many beliefs, many which are false, about themselves. An example can be that a child is crying in the crib and needs to be fed or changed. If the child’s needs are not responded too quickly, the child often forms the belief that he/she is not important, that it is alone and no one cares (actual situation experienced with several clients). This belief becomes the property of the subconscious mind and its job is to protect this belief, whether true or false because it is not RATIONAL. The child goes on to believe, falsely, that it is not important and loneliness follows it into teen and adulthood. The subconscious mind, in its protection of the belief, keeps it alive and sabotages the person in his/her lifetime. The person may not ever feel important enough to have a healthy relationship, or the courage to go for the job he/she wants and ultimately, the life they desire.
In a healthy scenario, a child who learns from the consequences of their own actions and discovers how to avoid those consequences with the gental guidance of Parents, Teachers, etc, ends up feeling more self confident and better able to handle other problems in the future.
Hypnotherapy is a technique that uses Regression Therapy to access the subconscious mind (the part of the mind that protects the original belief) and to guide the client to the root event that began the false belief in the first place. It is a gentle and safe way to change old, outdated beliefs. The subconscious mind is amazing in that it will learn, unlearn and relearn based on information and communication directly to it. In other words, when you change a belief about yourself while in Hypnosis, when you are in the state of mind that allows this to happen, then the new belief is protected just as strongly, just as surely, as the old one…..PERMENANTLY.
